Sunday, 13 January 2013

What is the loving thing to do?

This question seems so simple but, if you really think about what it would mean to live by this – and base all your decisions on it – imagine how things would be. And imagine how the world would be if everyone could place this at the heart of their inner compass.

Asking this question throughout my day helps me stay in my centre because it helps me base my decisions on my true, inner, beautiful, resplendent Self rather than my invented, small, selfish, neurotic, non-stop-mental-chatter self. On a practical level, I find it helpful to keep a few pictures in our home of people I respect and look up to spiritually. If I need to re-align myself with truth and love, I can look into their eyes and remember how to access my more soulful, honest and centred responses. This one helps me do that – it is a photograph of my main spiritual teacher, my daughter Bo ! When I look into her eyes in this one, I can only come back to myself and remember the truth.

When I ask this question and commit to being guided by Love, sometimes the answer can be surprising. It might mean saying no to somebody who appears to need my help, which goes against my natural instinct to offer my support if I am asked. But asking the question helps me to bypass my plan and access the Big Plan. What if I am not the person who is meant to help them? What if they are supposed to find a whole new way of doing things by resolving the problem themselves? How can I know what is best, true and good for everyone from my small perspective?

Of course, with parenting, it is a particularly interesting question to ask. In my early days as a mum, I did everything in my power to accommodate my daughter, respect her and say ‘yes’ to her. But, honestly, I was not asking this question, and so in adopting a ‘yes attitude’ to her, I completely left myself out of the equation. And it left us out of balance in our dynamic during those early years.

Once I became a mum a second time, I literally did not have those original reserves. I absolutely had to start putting the whole family first – and including myself fully – and this question was so helpful. Because it helps me to have a sense of the bigger picture – the one I am not in charge of!

One of my favourite lines from A Course in Miracles is ‘I do not know what anything is for’. I come back to this again and again and each time I see more clearly that this is true. And if we do not know what anything is for – in other words, if we cannot fully see the whole picture and the purpose of all our actions, interactions and plans, we can only base our decisions on this one powerful question: What is the loving thing to do?

Sometimes, the loving thing to do is to say yes, sometimes it is to say no, other times it is to stay silent, or to speak your truth. And, sometimes, we may think we have done the ‘wrong’ thing – said too much, or said the wrong thing – but it all leads towards love in the end, especially if we keep asking the question – and listen carefully inside ourselves for the answers that follow.

love from Hollie


  1. I am loving your wise insights and I love how open you are about the struggles too. Thank you for sharing these with us x Jae

  2. love your blog Hollie. Many thanks. ")

  3. Was just debating with a friend whether or not we brlieve that everyone always 'does their best'. I believe sometimes fear gets in the way and another choice is made.
    Beautiful, beautiful eyes Bo :-)

  4. Thank you, Hollie. This is a powerful question to consider.

  5. right on. Sometimes I become overwhelmed with the cornucopia of all the wonderful, beautiful people and the messages of love. Dearly enjoy learning of the breakthroughs so many people are experiencing and we, all of us, are a part of. I am thankful to those who code words of love and peace that many can grasp and seem so hungry for. I guess my constant prayer is for these pure waters to clean this wonderful, magical place and all life. Kinda makes me tired when I see the big picture. But, I do believe and I know it is powerful to do so. Grateful for another Thread of Love.

  6. I read this earlier in the week and I cannot count how many times I have thought of this post Hollie! It is so easy sometimes when you're tired or not feeling well etc to do life on auto-pilot or to get overwhelmed and cranky and to lose touch with your true and loving self. That's why I have been so touched by the wisdom of the first part of the post, and the honesty of the note at the bottom! Thanks once again for your wise words :)

  7. Thanks for commenting Clare. I have needed it too! But that's why I write it... I got very grumpy yesterday and really needed to reset over the course of the day. So glad it resonates with you too..