I was thinking today about what one thing every parent - and actually, every person - needs to remember.
And I think this is it: You are enough.
You are enough for your children, you are enough for the people around you. You don't need to do anything because who you are is enough. All that is necessary is that you stay present so that you can offer yourself to those around you.
Only when we realise this can we teach our children this important lesson that they are enough too. They don't need more toys, they don't need to be the same as their friends, they don't need to have all the latest gadgets to be happy. They just need to be in touch with themselves.
So, this is what I see as our most important job as parents: to realise that we are all our children need and want. We don't need to buy them presents, entertain them endlessly, make sure they have the latest 'cool' stuff. None of this is as important to our and their happiness as this one vital realisation. They are looking to us for a way to be in the world and our job is to show them.
And at the heart of this realisation is the deeper truth that we are enough because we are part of the whole, we are connected to everyone and everything and we are beautiful and whole and perfect at our core. Of course, our personality gets in the way and our patterns and dynamics but we can bypass that if we breathe, choose to be present and stop compensating (and realise that, because we are enough, it is also ok to wobble and have a bad-hair day!).
My biggest teachers of this have actually been two very precious, wonderful animal friends, neither of whom ever said a word to me or did anything particular for me, or gave me any gifts, or cleaned up after themselves, or cooked me a meal, or remembered my birthday. And yet the love I felt for them and the depth of connection I experienced was as real as anything I have ever known. In fact, the lack of words and psychology helped me to feel their love in a whole, clean and unconditional way and that taught me so much.