Thursday, 5 September 2013

Learning to love The Grumpy Mother

I didn't used to know The Grumpy Mother.

In those early days I still had enough energy to go around and I also slept every time my daughter slept. It worked pretty well. Other Grumpy Mothers didn't make sense to me. What was upsetting them so much? Why did they look so tired?

Then my beautiful son was born. And he really was and is beautiful. I adore him.

AND when he was born, The Grumpy Mother was born.

Since becoming a mum to two children, I have done things I never thought I would do. I have shouted, I have made threats, I have had tantrums of my own in front of everyone. I have lost it over actual real-life spilt milk (which felt ridiculous).

And for a while, I was shocked and ashamed. I was being the parent I didn't want to be.

Until I turned to talk to and face The Grumpy Mother. Until she, too, was welcome in my heart.

Because the thing with this whole life deal is that what we don't accept and forgive just chases us around.

We can do all the courses and therapy in the world to try to tame and get rid of the angry, difficult-to-accept parts of us but, really, the only way to be able to reset and love ourselves and, therefore, the people around us, is to accept ourselves rather than trying to improve ourselves.

And when we do this - when we really accept these parts of us - we can get back to our centre quicker. We can be kinder. We can laugh at ourselves more easily and take ourselves more lightly.

And, most important of all, we can teach our children to be kind to themselves because we know how to do it for ourselves.

See how grumpy we are??  

Obviously I still get grumpy and I still lose my patience. But these days I am learning to go easier on myself afterwards. I apologise when I need to and I tell myself I am doing really well. And I even find The Grumpy Mother quite sweet and funny too. She is a very passionate, outspoken, fiery, irrational person and I am learning to love her strange and unpredictable ways.


  1. lovely sweet release for another sometims grumpy mother...thank you darling Hollie...brave and welcomed to you & yours..♥

  2. Hi Hollie, Here's grumpy mom story: When my two kids were little, I cleared out a closet which had a tiny window in it, and I would go in there to meditate and just be by mysef for a little while. I still laugh about the time when my grumpiness was beginning to surge, and Bella, who was probably two, said "uh oh. Time for Mommy to go in the closet!" I had no idea how aware she was, or how transparently human I was.