Too many times, as parents, we leave ourselves out of the equation (I have learnt this the hard way and what I offer in this blog is a realization I have come to after years of leaving myself out). We don’t take time to do what really nurtures us and we end up burnt out, exhausted and, often as a result, being our worst selves rather than our best selves. And of course this sets up a vicious circle because then we give ourselves a hard time about it. And on it goes...
As I reflect on this, I realize that what I really want to offer others is very simple: it is the fact that, as we parent, we are also being parented all the time by the Big Love. All we need to do is connect with that. And the Big Love that holds us all sees us as perfect, loveable and worthy of every good thing. We can rely on the Big Love for guidance, support and battery recharging on all levels.
On a practical level, this means finding ways to remind ourselves of how loved and held we are at regular intervals during the day - of reminding ourselves over and over again that we are sustained by the Big Love. To do this for myself, I wear a bracelet dedicated to the connection I feel when I am centred and feeling loved and ‘full up’ rather than running on empty and trying to do it all myself without support.
I also chant during the day to maintain my connection and remind myself of the bigger context that contains us all (this helps a lot with remaining present during the NEVERENDING talk of washing up). The great thing is that Bo & Christopher now know the chants off by heart and often sing them these days, which reminds me to sing!
You really can meditate anywhere - even on the way
down a slide (as Bo is demonstrating here!)
What do you need to do to connect with the ever-present Big Love that holds us? It could be spending a few moments in nature, breathing, doing a short yoga session, listening to music you love, doing something creative, chanting, wearing something that reminds you at frequent intervals of your true self… Whatever it is, start doing it! You will be happier, kinder and more present to your children and to everyone in your life.
It has to start with you – it is the only thing you have any say in and any control over (especially as parents when we spend so much time in the unpredictable world of little people!).
I'd love to hear your ideas or thoughts - please leave a comment if you have any inspiration to share.
Love from Hollie