Ten ways to tell if you are the mother of a toddler

Just in case you are in doubt about this, have a read. If you answer yes to more than 6 of these questions, or smirk to yourself to more than 3, you probably are the mother of a toddler.

I am also open to the fact that this may just be a list of things about me. 

1.    90% of the time you have food on your clothes. When you meet people who don't have food on their clothes, you feel slightly intimidated, and wonder what their secret is. 

2.    Sometimes, at the end of the day, you find a whole biscuit down your bra.

3.    You can’t find anything, ever.

4.    You can’t remember the last time you blow-dried your hair.

5.    You don’t leave the house without a packet of baby wipes. In fact, you don’t understand how the world worked before they were invented.

The best games are the lying down games. 

6.    It takes you half an hour to leave the house (see number 3).

7.    Going on holiday is much more exhausting than not going on holiday. But you are exhausted anyway, so you always say yes to holidays. But packing takes longer than the actual holiday so you decide not to go on holiday again. But then you say yes again the next time because you have forgotten how exhausting it was the last time.

8.   You can’t stay awake to watch a whole movie.

9.   You have been known to go shopping and discover you are wearing either (a) your slippers or (b) odd shoes.

10. Sometimes, when you least expect it, your heart gets so big and full of love that you think it can’t possibly remain inside your body. And this is what makes you accept all of the above as your reality and gives you the strength to make the next batch of snacks to pack in the rucksack.