Monday, 16 September 2013

Spiritual Parenting - what does that actually mean?

When people talk about spiritual parenting, or parenting as a spiritual path, I often think it's not clear what that really means. And, of course, it is a very individual thing for each of us. 

I would definitely say I am a 'spiritual parent'. 

What this means to me is that:

- I do not see my children (or anyone) as being defined by or restricted to a body or physical expression. We are souls on a journey and we are in a body to learn and connect and remember our wholeness. (I explain this in more depth here:

- I align myself with divine support and guidance as I parent. I pray, meditate and ask 'What would Love do?' as often as possible.

- I try to go easy on myself - and encourage others to do the same - as I trust the unfolding of Life for all of us. I do not feel I need to protect my children from life (or even my own shouty moments!) because I trust that they are held and guided by something greater than ourselves and that I am too. We are all learning and doing our best. 

- I invite in guidance and support a few times a day, specifically by thanking our angels. I do this out loud and my children know how to do this too. If they feel lost or lonely, they know they have guardian angels looking out for them and they know they can call on that support any time. 

- As best I can, I trust in divine timing and in the support Life offers me in every moment. 

- I believe that the mundane tasks of parenting, the small things we do over and over again, can be treated as a spiritual path in their own right. Becoming present, not resisting the daily grind and making peace with the washing up is my goal ! As Pema Chodron says, 'Whatever is happening is the path to enlightenment'.

- I believe that our inner lives create our outer reality. So I work on my inner spiritual issues and growth to help my children and family and to create more peace and balance. 

- I believe in the power of gratitude to keep us aligned with the truth about ourselves and those around us. Even finding a couple of things a day that we are grateful for keeps us focussed on what's important and makes us look for things in every moment.

- I believe in forgiveness (and that includes the all-important self-forgiveness) and its power to refresh and reset and bring us a truer way of seeing the world. It also helps when I forget to do all of the above. 

I would love to hear from others who follow a similar path. How do you define what you do and what are your daily practices?

I am going to write a blog specifically about prayer and angelic support soon as this is so central to how I parent and I would love to start sharing it with others...

Taken by my daughter - this pretty much sums up being a mum for me. 
This is what happens when I try to meditate...


  1. I love the boldness and the 'taking a stand' feeling of this blog Hols. I feel empowered that you are empowered to speak your truth and stand up for what you are up to in your life. I don't feel so bold right now - which is where I am at, and thanks to your boldness I have a smile on my face. Mostly at Christopher being nearly actually off the floor totally in this picture!

  2. Love this! You are preaching to a convert here! I also think being a spiritual parent means having an awareness of the "lost love" or pain that has been passed down to us through our family system. We can pay reverence to those who have gone before us, pause and forgive, hear their cry for love, have compassion, and most importantly, not pass that pain on to our children. Take what is ours, give back what is not ours, and then our children only have to take responsibility for what is theirs, not the burden of generations before them.

    1. Totally agree with this - our own inner healing so so important.. Thank you x

  3. I love this post. The theme and questions you offered up have opened a new door to a fun enquiry I've been enjoying for days. Mostly as a conversation on my drive home. I use different words to pretty much describe the same thing I think. For example, I think of my 'approach to parenting' as 'mindful parenting.' The meaning of that term for me is simply being as present as I possibly can, as aware as I possibly can and in the back of my mind walking in someone else's shoes in order to understand the impact I have on the world and those around me. As a daily practice, I meditate (I give myself a high 5 if I get 10 mins in), some yoga or exercise of some sort and when I'm with my daughter, really being present and not wishing she'd leave me alone so I can do something else. Honestly, that's the biggest challenge in terms of my practice. I wish I could go to loo again alone. I'm letting that go - most of the time. BUT it's a SLOW one for me:) As best I can I share my practice with my daughter. She mediates in her own way as loves a chant or two. Her yoga moves are also fun and we like to copy each other. Some days we are more aware than others but then that's become part of the practice and I feel very grateful that she wants to join in. On the days when we collide and want to go in opposite directions...I too try to embrace my grump and not beat myself up too much or blame her or me for not being 'perfect.' Lordy Hollie what a post. Thank you. I think I'm going to keep playing with this one for decades!

    1. Hi Nina, thanks for commenting (and reading!) And thanks for sharing your own practices. I am realising more and more that the biggest thing I can do for everyone in the family is go easy on myself - especially when I fall short of my ideals.... But the ideals are so important too. It's a fine balance. Glad to be having this conversation with other likeminded mums - that too is extremely important. x