Wednesday, 29 January 2014

The Pie Chart of Love

Yesterday I had one-of-those afternoons. I was grumpy, impatient and Bo had to ask me frequently 'why I was breathing like that'. In other words, I fell waaay short of my ideals - of how I want to be as a person and, specifically, as a mother.

Now, as a full-time mum to two young children, this is, of course, completely normal and to be expected. Hardly worth a mention in a post on Facebook even.

But, you see, I got thinking (you will have noticed I tend to do that!) and I began to doodle a pie chart of my mind and energy expenditure. (Is it just me or were pie charts the best thing about Maths lessons?) Anyway, I was thinking that we are so hard on ourselves. We set an ideal, we fail to live up to it some days or even lots of days (of course) and then we spend an awful lot of time (main chunk of pie) berating ourselves for the perceived 'failure'. It's just human nature.

So I drew the pie chart and thought about how I wanted to share it with you guys - and to see if anybody else goes through this inside themselves. And Bo, my 6-year-old daughter asked if she could do the colouring. 'Great,' I said, 'I'll start dinner.'

When I came back, she showed it to me and said 'I hope you don't mind, mum, I added an extra circle around the one you drew.'

And so now I am sharing it with you in a way I hadn't planned but look how beautiful it is. My little perspective of myself got cushioned in a huge blob of LOVE. I am constantly reminded that, although we give ourselves a hard time, and go through all this stuff in ourselves, it is all of it, all of it, held in a Wider Circle of Love.

Love is much bigger than you. And nothing you do or say to yourself can change it. Isn't that a relief... See pie chart for details.

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