Thursday 31 January 2013

Xylo(phones) - Do we really see what is in front of us?


Do we really see what is in front of us?

I would have to answer no to that question – really we do not. We see our past, we see our projections, we see the effects of our conditioning.

As A Course in Miracles teaches, 'I see nothing as it is now'. I love the Course but sometimes I really need good examples to bring the principles to life for me, so I am going to attempt to do this from an example from my day right now! Partly because I need to do this for myself and partly because I love the idea of others learning about the Course. It is particularly interesting when applied to parenting...

So, to illustrate this, I have a simple story from my day yesterday.

I was staring at our (no exaggeration) HUGE pile of single socks and following a string of thoughts such as ‘where do they go?’ and ‘I really must be turning into a grown-up if this is a real concern for me’ and so on - you get the picture... Then I noticed that on the table to the side of the Sock Disaster Area, Bo and Christopher had set up an office. It was very simple, with a few scraps of paper and some pens and some other fairly random objects scattered around.

Then they came into the room and they were both busy talking – in the middle of a big deal perhaps, or a logistics meeting. Christopher invariably chats away either to ‘The Lady’ or ‘The Man’ and Bo has extended conversations with an old friend. On this occasion, she was finding this particular friend totally hilarious and her pearls and clutch bag jiggled around as she laughed heartily at all her jokes.

Their ‘phones’ weren’t ones I’d seen before – they were wooden, brightly coloured and looked suspiciously like…. My eyes at this point shot down to where the wooden xylophone sits on the bottom shelf and, oh yes, to make new phones for their office, Bo had found the scissors in the bathroom and freed the pieces of wood from what she obviously considered to be their very boring existence as part of a xylophone-that-doesn’t-sound-anything-like-a-musical-instrument-when-you-hit-it-with-the-stick-that-is-always-lost-anyway – and given them a new role in life.

And this was the interesting bit (where I finally reach my point) – I was immediately struck by my temptation to make Bo wrong for having cut the strings to make her phones – to see this as ‘misbehaving’ or disrespecting one of her belongings etc. But, thankfully, I have learnt to stop and question my thinking and assumptions and, honestly, I was just left with the feeling of being completely impressed by her ingenuity and how creatively she thinks.

She wasn’t seeing a xylophone, she was seeing 5 potential phones for her office – and no doubt tomorrow they will be fish for her kitchen or ice skates attached with ribbons. I was the one seeing what wasn’t there, not Bo! She was seeing possibility, I was seeing my limitations and judgments.

When I am present, I am aware that I need to keep on top of my thoughts, assumptions and judgments so that I can really see, love and enjoy others – and see their innocence and good intentions rather than the story I am carrying that colours and blocks real vision.

I am going to keep experimenting with this idea and see if I can drop even one judgment or assumption a day!

As always, thanks for reading another blog I am really writing to myself!

Love from Hollie









11 comments:

  1. Hollie this is lovely. But dude, buy them some better xylophones!! because i know exactly what you mean. I was so depressed when K was little that there were such bad xylophones on sale that aren't even in tune with thmeselves. There are very beautiful Steiner ones which are expensive but at least they are proper instruments... xxx

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  2. Yes, Emma, I know!! We actually do have a beautiful Steiner one but this was the '2 year old version with a rounded stick for proper bashing!' They are completely useless and not an instrument at all..... I really am glad it has been turned into something that is fun to play with

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  3. Hols, this is amazing - I love Bo's creativity in this story. And I love that you have the space in your being that allows the moment to question and to choose. May we all find that space whenever we can. x

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  5. I loved this post, but I particularly loved this bit:

    "When I am present, I am aware that I need to keep on top of my thoughts, assumptions and judgments so that I can really see, love and enjoy others – and see their innocence and good intentions rather than the story I am carrying that colours and blocks real vision."

    Such wise advice that I will definitely be using as I go about my day today :)

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    1. Hi Clare, so glad it is helpful! Are you aware of A Course in Miracles teaching at all? If you like this idea, you might find it interesting..

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  6. bravo :-) beautiful mommy :-) !
    well done :-)

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    1. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Out of interest, can I ask how you discovered my blog - purely because I am fascinated about how these things circulate! love Hollie

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  7. Hi Hollie, I love your post. I wished I would have had the presence of mind when my daughter was Bo's age because she did see all kinds of possibilities where I only saw misbehaving. Fortunately she has recovered from her mum's lack of creative thinking and is now studying fine arts at university. I'm pretty new to the Course in Miracles but find it really interesting. Thanks for your story :-)

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    1. Thanks so much for reading and commenting Isabel. Out of interest, can I ask how you discovered my blog - purely because I am fascinated about how these things circulate! love Hollie

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  8. Great great great,
    wish we all would be so conscious when we watch each other and even better parents bringing up their children like this. A new generation is growing up right now. And with kids like yours, with a mum like you and an incredible mentor and spiritual teacher Robert, what more can a kid wish could happen. They were very very wise choosing you as their parents when they signed their assignment, I wish I would have been as wise, hahahhahha
    Big compliment to both of you
    xo
    Lea

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